Hey Guys-So I’ve been in the self-development business for quite a while now and I gotta tell you, I really love my job and I am not just saying that. Is it hard and complex? Yes! Gratifying? Hell Yes!! In the past few years I have been pretty busy with a pretty intense coaching agenda with over 6,000 hours of one on one coaching. Repetition of one on one coaching time is vital to being a successful coach. As TR says,
‘Repetition is the mother of all skill’.
Coaching is an ever-constant journey as I help my clients fill the gap between who they currently are and who they want to become. Bottom line is I absolutely love my clients and I want them all to over-achieve their goals. A successful coach/client dynamic relies on commitment from both parties while following these three basic rules of the game.
#1-Procrastination is the Enemy
If you want personal one on one coaching, it’s a must to overcome procrastination. Everyone puts things off until the last minute every once in a while, but procrastinators chronically avoid difficult tasks and deliberately look for distractions. Procrastination in large part reflects our constant struggle with self-control as well as our inability to accurately predict how we'll feel tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. "I’m not into it" takes precedence over the goals the client desires.
Some procrastinators may say they perform better under pressure, but more often than not that's their way of justifying putting things off. Perfectionists are often procrastinators. And I have said so often, being a perfectionist is the lowest standard you can have, because it’s unattainable. For the perfectionist, it is psychologically more acceptable to never tackle a task than to face the possibility of not doing it perfectly and failing. Procrastination is the enemy and it must nipped quickly at the beginning of a coach/client relationship.
#2-The Law of Diminishing Intent
Nike had the right tagline of ‘Just Do It’ for its fitness campaign to get people to move forward get fitness results. The law of diminishing intent theory is basically that people will lose interest on something, if not acted upon quickly.
We fall prey to it every time we allow (#1) procrastination to set in. Over time, our procrastination quickly robs us of getting stuff done. The longer you wait to do something you should do now, the greater the odds that you will never actually do it. This is the very reason why a successful coach/client relationship requires that the one on one coaching sessions must be scheduled every 7 to 10 days without fail.
For my clients, it looks like this:
#3-Accountability = Response-Ability
Steven Covey coined the quote ‘Accountability breeds Response-Ability’. Love him! Self-discipline is crucial for achieving any goal and there is a totally a limit to what you can accomplish with willpower alone. Even the strongest-minded people will run out of energy at some point. That’s is exactly why the most successful people get coaching support to make sure they have backup when they run out of willpower. In most sports, the accountability comes in the form of a trainer or a coach, as it’s the industry standard if you want to be a winner. Tiger Woods is accountable to a coach. Tony Robbins is accountable to a coach. Jeff Bezos of Amazon is accountable to a coach. The New England Patriots and New York Yankees are accountable to a coach. Staying accountable means not making excuses, not shifting blame, and not procrastinating. Accountability means you are focused on improvement, results, and your goals.
Here is an example I use often. Going to the gym for the first time with your fitness coach after taking a few years off is very pretty tough. You crawl out of bed the next, barely able to walk from all the soreness. But after a few weeks of continuous workouts with your coach, you are breathing easier, lifting heavier weights, building muscle, and able to get through a spin class like a pro. It is an awesome feeling and that same thought process applies to the life coaching process.
Combining these three key elements together makes for a truly inspiring and wickedly successful coach/client dynamic.