Managing Your Emotions When Things Feel Out of Control


If I had to count how many people ask me this question especially lately – I would literally lose count. So often we are presented with situations that are totally out of our control and our emotions get the best of us – sound familiar? At the end of the day we just want to feel better and live our lives happily ever after – isn’t that the stuff that fairy tales are made of? Well, let me remind you we are not living in a fantasy world and things can impact us so much that at times it feels paralyzing so much so we feel that we can’t get out of our own way.

So what do we do to manage our emotions:

  1. Recognize that feeling this way is totally normal and acknowledge the fact that you were aware enough to notice that this is just an old pattern of thinking. You are on the right path – awareness is key!

  2. Give yourself permission to feel this emotion versus ignoring it and pretending that everything is ok! Now don’t be feeling this negative emotion for 6 days ;) – be realistic with how much time you want to feel the negative emotion.

  3. After you notice this thought or belief is high jacking your emotions – do something to break this pattern.

Some easy things you can do in the moment:

  • Take a deep breath

  • Do something physical – take a deep breath, go for a walk, get some exercise

  • Think of something to be grateful for

  • Ask yourself an empowering question like – how can I look at this differently?

  • Look at what triggered you in the first place that got on this emotional roller coaster to begin with and identify if you can minimize, eliminate or replace the trigger.

These are little simple things to incorporate in your life but remember it’s the small things that we do repeatedly that lead to achievements gained over time.

Remember at any given moment we get to decide how we feel. When things are out of our control we need to focus on the things that we actually can control – such as our own focus, thoughts, and actions.

I would also be remiss if I did not mention that working on our mental health on a daily basis is just as important if not as important as our physical health. Do something daily to help with your emotional state – prayer, journaling, meditation, reading, etc. And remember it’s a marathon not a sprint….

Now I would love to hear from you – what are some things that help you manage your emotions?


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